Bury and Move Forward

I just got home from a cold long walk in my Moobury earmuffs, deep in thought and half the time not knowing where I was.  Luckily, it is really hard to get lost in the middle of Manhattan.  The problem with this time of year isn’t the cold weather, but how it stirs up deep reflection.  While there is hope for the new year, it comes with harsh criticism towards the one that just passed.

Not knowing what came over me this morning, I felt a sudden urge to count the number of earmuff frames I had left.  A year ago I learned that the retailer I bought my frames from had diminished in quality.  I tried buying from other sources online, but they were all flimsy and not up to my standards.  As life happened in 2017, heartbreaks, job changes, and family drama, I kind of let the issue slide.  I wasn’t even sure if I had it in me to keep Moobury going anymore.

Yet there I was counting, ‘2,4,6,8…20…20…’ 

I felt myself go numb, twenty frames is not enough to get me through another season, and definitely doesn’t leave me room to develop any new designs.   I had dedicated a whole day to work on Moobury, but instead I lost all desire for the day I had originally planned.  So I put on a personal favorite earmuffs, and just started roaming, texting, browsing online and reaching out for any consolation I could find on this whole frame situation.  And when that moment of trance started shifting to reality, I found myself in a coffee shop looking at old emails and blogs from 2014 when I was rallying the troupes to start Moobury

‘I'm willing to do this, but this is a lot of money for this point in my life and I want to make sure everyone is committed to making Moobury happen…...I value everyone's time, efforts and connections above all else, so I have not, and will not ask for you guys to put in any money.  I'm also well aware that all of us have priorities in life larger than project Moobury, which is why all these things have been put off till this point (myself in particular at fault here)...BUT this is one of those now or never crunch moments.  TIme to find out if Moobury is going to live or become steak... >_<...So I'm going to thank everyone in advance for all the spare time Moobury is going to take, all the friends you're going to ask for help and for the lack of sleep you will be experiencing…- ug’ - 10/24/14

A little over 3 years ago there was nothing, but a project and an idea.  In 3 years we went from lost Burberry earmuffs and no sewing background to handmaking 150 earmuffs. Moobury went from a single listing Etsy shop to a full collection and website.  We went from selling them to friends and family to now selling them to customers that find me online. 

What I have done with Moobury has always seemed small to me because I dreamt of so much more. I forgot where it started, what I was going through in life, and what everyone else was going through while this hobby existed in the background. The people that pitched in back in the day were students or just starting out on their career journey, everyone has grown and moved onto bigger and better things.  Throughout the years we came together time and time again to talk about a made up brand that has now become our shared past.  That sentiment is bittersweet.  And as I watch my frame stash dwindle, I go back and forth on whether I am holding onto Moobury because of the past or is it something I truly love and made my own to grow?

I was an endodontic resident when this first started, neck deep in student loans and the poorest and most tired I’ve ever been in life.  Even then, I was so fearless and determined that I invested what was almost five times my rent to get things off the ground (~$3000). I knew nothing and had barely enough to get by, yet I didn’t care. Now I’m working and living comfortably in NYC, but finding myself stuck wondering if I should take the next step because I have to invest even more now for Moobury to continue.

In the end, I know what needs to be done, but admitting it outloud is the hard part.  Like many risks I’ve taken, it seems stupid but feels right, and often times the right actions are uncomfortable and bring on new pains.  I have no clue where this chapter of Moobury is going to take me or even if I have the resources to get it there, but I owe it to everyone who has supported me in the past and myself to log this new uncomfortable journey as I try.  Good or bad, every earmuff I make now will forever mean more.  In the beginning Moobury was made to bury my ruined Burberry earmuffs, and now it has become a constant reminder to bury my past pains and move forward.  It’s a process, a slow grind, and one a dedicated, hardworking cow is definitely built for.

Happy New Year to all! Whether we are in each other’s lives or not, I wish everyone happiness and success in burying past pains and moving forward.